Language

Something that's taken me by surprise about my separation and divorce process is how I've had to change the way I describe my everyday experiences. 

Throughout my life, and because of my mother's example, cultivating and maintaining an independent identity has been a priority for me.  Nevertheless, for the last eighteen years I've spoken daily of our home, our dogs, our plans, and how we enjoy doing this and we enjoy going there.  I was part of a we and an us and that was expressed constantly in the things I said.

Going through this separation and divorce, I've learned that every single aspect of my life has changed--including the way I communicate.  It's been like the early stages of learning a new language in the way that I have to translate from the old to the new as I speak.  When my mouth moves faster than my brain and the translation into the new language fails, I'm startled to hear myself describe what we've done and what's going on in our house.

Everything has been upended; nothing in my life remains as it was, and I can't avoid thinking about that fact at every moment.  But I know that each day will bring some small improvement.  I will make my plans, I will take care of my home and my dogs, I will progress and learn the language of my new life.