Last week I went through the legal process of returning to my maiden name. The legal process is surprisingly easy when it's associated with a divorce; notifying all the parties who need to know--bank, Social Security, insurance company, colleagues--will be more difficult.
I wasn't sure initially whether this was a step I wanted to take, primarily because I was so overwhelmed with all of the other details involved in a divorce. The details kept me distracted from the more emotionally charged questions. Once I got over obstacles like refinancing the house, I had nothing left but the emotional questions.
The sudden, completely unanticipated way my marriage came apart has shaped my choices. Having no input in the decision, I felt completely powerless, which has led me to reclaim some where I can. I also cannot deny that some small part of me wanted to strip his name from mine out of anger and maybe a little spite.
Renaming myself doesn't change me, or the facts of my circumstances. It does give me a tangible start to this new beginning; it gives a clear delineation between the before and after, and that is very appealing right now.
Names matter. Now you are back to the "person" I met at the ripe old age of about 14... and Alexander is way easier to spell. Welcome back. There are so many emotional hurdles that will come your way (and already have) but I think you are quickly learning more about who you are. This is an important step. We are here to support you every step of the way.
ReplyDeleteYou have to do what's best for you and it sounds like you are doing just that. Hugs.
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